Well, Maybe I Am Giving Up on The Blanket Dream

I am so tired.

Between being a full-time single mom to a toddler, being a student, and not just a student, but an intern, I am beyond exhausted.  What was once supposed to be a beautiful finger-knit blanket for my son is now nothing but a far-gone dream.  I have never in my nearly 27 years of life been so exhausted, mentally and physically.  

I have to apologize for getting a little personal here, but what else is there to do when you have completely fumbled the bag on making a physical project?  So here I am, admitting defeat by internship.  Between planning lesson after lesson, making worksheets, making visuals for the grade 1's that help them to understand the deeper content, being a parent and having those responsibilities, homework from other classes, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and grocery shopping.  You name it, I am responsible for it, and to be completely honest, I am beyond overwhelmed.

Currently, I am 'working' from about 5:30am until around 11pm, and I do not know how to keep going.  Between assignments, lesson plans, marking, worksheets, and mom duties, I lost the point of this class.  My finger-knit blanket is a ball of yarn in a basket in my living room that has not been touched since probably Valentine's Day.  And yeah, I feel like I failed.  I mean, I guess failure is a strong word for it, but I definitely feel like I have not succeeded.  

As much as I failed at making a blanket, I have been successful everywhere else I am needed.  I am successful in my internship, I am successful in being a mom, I am successfully keeping a house clean and tidy, I just do not have free time for myself to do anything even slightly 'hobby-esque'.  By the end of the night, I just want to shower and go to bed.  

So, I know hobbies and "me-time" are important, but at this stage in life I just don't have that.  And quite honestly, my success should not be based on a knitted blanket when I succeed in so many other things in life.

(Image from: https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/tired-mom-working-with-baby-vector-33315305)